Quite a few people have been asking me about the Pooping Bandit. That little guy sure knows how to attract interest. Not getting enough attention in your life? Stuff your poop into the toilet paper dispenser. You’ll get
lots
of attention that way.
To find the Bandit, the teachers started having kids sign in and out to go to the bathroom and bathroom checks increased. While he was never officially caught, we have a pretty good guess who the Bandit is. One particular boy started receiving much heavier supervision and the incidents stopped. It’s not the most satisfying conclusion, but is this the kind of thing where you really want to catch a kid in the act? Probably not.
Since the Bandit’s retirement there hasn’t been much excitement at my school. Nothing blog worthy anyway. Fortunately Reagan has been relating an ongoing saga at the middle school.
In my opinion, music and art teachers generally fall into one of two categories:
“Cool” teachers who find unique ways to teach the kids. They pass along enthusiasm for their subject and become beloved mentors.
Slightly unhinged.
Reagan’s music teacher, Ms. X, falls into the latter category. She seems to have no idea of how to relate to middle-schoolers or interest them in music. She spends a lot of time hysterically scolding them for being off balance in their posture and trying to teach them traditional folk music, with lyrics like this:
To find the Bandit, the teachers started having kids sign in and out to go to the bathroom and bathroom checks increased. While he was never officially caught, we have a pretty good guess who the Bandit is. One particular boy started receiving much heavier supervision and the incidents stopped. It’s not the most satisfying conclusion, but is this the kind of thing where you really want to catch a kid in the act? Probably not.
Since the Bandit’s retirement there hasn’t been much excitement at my school. Nothing blog worthy anyway. Fortunately Reagan has been relating an ongoing saga at the middle school.
In my opinion, music and art teachers generally fall into one of two categories:
“Cool” teachers who find unique ways to teach the kids. They pass along enthusiasm for their subject and become beloved mentors.
Slightly unhinged.
Reagan’s music teacher, Ms. X, falls into the latter category. She seems to have no idea of how to relate to middle-schoolers or interest them in music. She spends a lot of time hysterically scolding them for being off balance in their posture and trying to teach them traditional folk music, with lyrics like this:
“
I got me a cat, and the cat pleased me, and I fed my cat
under yonder tree, and the cat said fiddle-I-fee! . . .
I got me a wife, my wife pleased me, and I fed my wife
under yonder tree, and my wife said fiddle-I-fee”
under yonder tree, and the cat said fiddle-I-fee! . . .
I got me a wife, my wife pleased me, and I fed my wife
under yonder tree, and my wife said fiddle-I-fee”
Perfect song for 7th graders huh? I’m not sure if she’s trying to promote human slavery or prostitution in that last verse. The kids have no respect for Ms. X. The class is a circus of kids blatantly defying her and trying to make their friends laugh in the process. Ms. X has set up her own video cameras to try and catch people who flip her off when she turns around. Oh, and she also continuously mispronounces any non-typical names - especially of minority kids. Got a good picture here?
Ms. X assigned the kids to give individual musical performances in front of the entire class. Can you imagine? They’re seventh graders. That’s like asking them to go to the bathroom in front of the entire class. Reagan got through it all right because she’s generally compliant and plays the violin. She and a friend picked out a song from last year’s song book and played a duet. Easy. For the kids who don’t play instruments though, there is little choice but to sing. As a non-singing
adult
I would have serious problems with this assignment so it’s not shocking that many in the class refused to do it and others tried to find creative ways around it.
Reagan’s friends John and Luke are good kids who were put into a difficult situation here. They don’t play instruments, they don’t sing and they are 13 year old boys. Solution? Sing “Old McDonald Had a Farm” as a duet. When they got up and announced their piece, Ms. X was totally unamused. She wasn’t going to let them do it, but they correctly pointed out that they were meeting the requirements of the assignment. She had never specified a song, just said that it had to be at least two minutes long. With enough animal verses, Old McDonald fits the bill. Finally, Ms. X grudgingly told them that if they could complete the song without laughing, that they could earn a C. They started out strong, with John singing the words and Luke making the animal noises and they were okay until they made it to “sheep.” Apparently Luke makes really funny sheep sounds. The boys completely cracked up along with the rest of the class. Ms. X stopped the performance and announced that their work “was not even worth an F!”
John’s mom is a friend of mine. She tried to take the situation seriously and gave him a mild scolding about respecting adults and trying your best and blah, blah, blah. Then she went into the other room with her husband and they laughed.
Hayden goes to middle school next year and will have Ms. X. Stay tuned . . .
Reagan’s friends John and Luke are good kids who were put into a difficult situation here. They don’t play instruments, they don’t sing and they are 13 year old boys. Solution? Sing “Old McDonald Had a Farm” as a duet. When they got up and announced their piece, Ms. X was totally unamused. She wasn’t going to let them do it, but they correctly pointed out that they were meeting the requirements of the assignment. She had never specified a song, just said that it had to be at least two minutes long. With enough animal verses, Old McDonald fits the bill. Finally, Ms. X grudgingly told them that if they could complete the song without laughing, that they could earn a C. They started out strong, with John singing the words and Luke making the animal noises and they were okay until they made it to “sheep.” Apparently Luke makes really funny sheep sounds. The boys completely cracked up along with the rest of the class. Ms. X stopped the performance and announced that their work “was not even worth an F!”
John’s mom is a friend of mine. She tried to take the situation seriously and gave him a mild scolding about respecting adults and trying your best and blah, blah, blah. Then she went into the other room with her husband and they laughed.
Hayden goes to middle school next year and will have Ms. X. Stay tuned . . .
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