I’m just going to tell you up front here that this is probably more than you want to know about me. However, I have a problem and the first step to recovery is admitting it. I am addicted to Q-tips.
When I was little, one of my favorite things was to lie across my mom’s lap after a bath and have her clean my ears. It felt so
When I was little, one of my favorite things was to lie across my mom’s lap after a bath and have her clean my ears. It felt so
good
to have her run the Q-tip around my ear and get it squeaky clean. Eventually I got too old to have my mommy clean out my ears and I struck out on my own. Being able to get that clean-ear-satisfaction whenever I want to has proven to be a problem. I’ve become an abuser.
We’ve all read the articles about how Q-tips are dangerous and how you should never stick anything smaller than your elbow into your ear. I have scorned such advice. How can something that feels so good be wrong? And do I not have the cleanest ears around? I would never gross out people sitting next to me by having them glance over and see clumps of ear wax sticking out of my ear canal. I hate when that happens to me. I have come up with many reasons to justify the abuse. Finally though, the evidence overwhelmed me and I tried to cut back.
I went cold turkey. That worked for about three days and then the full sensation in my ears drove me nuts and I caved. Then I tried to just use Q-tips every other day which worked for a while until I started pretending to myself that I couldn’t remember whether or not I had used one yesterday and so I should really use one today to be sure. Finally - intervention in the form of medical authority. My friend Pam’s husband is an ENT surgeon. When we went to San Diego with them earlier this summer I knew I couldn’t walk around with my Q-tips so I left them at home and spent the whole week rubbing at my ears. Finally I asked Dana for the cold, hard facts in the hope that he could scare me out of my addiction.
He listed all the reasons why Q-tips are the tool of the devil: they push wax and debris further into your ear which can cause infection; Dana himself has removed numerous Q-tip tips from people’s ears; “chronic abusers” actually destroy the lining of the ear canal thus reducing the body’s ability to clean the ear itself and causing hearing damage. He was very convincing. But not convincing enough apparently. When we got home from San Diego I ran for the Q-tips and cleaned both ears thoroughly. Ahhhhhhh.
But I did hear what Dana said and I do want to get better. My current plan is that I am only allowed to use one Q-tip, and only on Sunday. So far I’ve been able to stick to it, but let me tell you that WAY too much of my time is spent thinking about my ears. I count down the days until Q-tip day. I rub at the outside of my ears and swallow hard - a lot. Probably it appears that I have tics. Eventually I am hoping to work up to every two weeks, then every three and I hope for the day that I no longer even think about them.
Next week I am spending Monday-Wednesday in a hot, dusty arena and so I am putting off Q-tip day until Wednesday night because I know that I’d never make it until Sunday. Planning my week around a Q-tip proves that clearly, I have issues. Big ones.
We’ve all read the articles about how Q-tips are dangerous and how you should never stick anything smaller than your elbow into your ear. I have scorned such advice. How can something that feels so good be wrong? And do I not have the cleanest ears around? I would never gross out people sitting next to me by having them glance over and see clumps of ear wax sticking out of my ear canal. I hate when that happens to me. I have come up with many reasons to justify the abuse. Finally though, the evidence overwhelmed me and I tried to cut back.
I went cold turkey. That worked for about three days and then the full sensation in my ears drove me nuts and I caved. Then I tried to just use Q-tips every other day which worked for a while until I started pretending to myself that I couldn’t remember whether or not I had used one yesterday and so I should really use one today to be sure. Finally - intervention in the form of medical authority. My friend Pam’s husband is an ENT surgeon. When we went to San Diego with them earlier this summer I knew I couldn’t walk around with my Q-tips so I left them at home and spent the whole week rubbing at my ears. Finally I asked Dana for the cold, hard facts in the hope that he could scare me out of my addiction.
He listed all the reasons why Q-tips are the tool of the devil: they push wax and debris further into your ear which can cause infection; Dana himself has removed numerous Q-tip tips from people’s ears; “chronic abusers” actually destroy the lining of the ear canal thus reducing the body’s ability to clean the ear itself and causing hearing damage. He was very convincing. But not convincing enough apparently. When we got home from San Diego I ran for the Q-tips and cleaned both ears thoroughly. Ahhhhhhh.
But I did hear what Dana said and I do want to get better. My current plan is that I am only allowed to use one Q-tip, and only on Sunday. So far I’ve been able to stick to it, but let me tell you that WAY too much of my time is spent thinking about my ears. I count down the days until Q-tip day. I rub at the outside of my ears and swallow hard - a lot. Probably it appears that I have tics. Eventually I am hoping to work up to every two weeks, then every three and I hope for the day that I no longer even think about them.
Next week I am spending Monday-Wednesday in a hot, dusty arena and so I am putting off Q-tip day until Wednesday night because I know that I’d never make it until Sunday. Planning my week around a Q-tip proves that clearly, I have issues. Big ones.
Note: The stupid Comment feature is on the hates this entry. See “Fell Off The Wagon” for comments.
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